Alex, Stephen, Jon, and I went bowling on Friday night. Alex was running and then throwing the ball. I should have told her to slow down or warn her about how slick it is after the bold line, but I didn't. She was having fun. Then she fell onto the waxed area. She got up & walked back to her chair. I noticed she was setting oddly and I quickly went to her side. She was stiff. I pulled her onto my lap. She was stiff and shaking. Telling me in gasps that she couldn't breath. It took all of my will power to keep from crying, but I held strong. I told her it would be ok, she just needed to relax. I then made her breath with me. Together we sat their just breathing. Me doing it with ease and her stuggling. If she had not walked to her chair on her own I would have thought she was paralized. She was not moving just stiff & looked so scared. I will never forget that. She was so white too. She never cried though. She even finished her frame. I love Alex so much. It breaks my heart that I will be moving away from her again.
I went to the Dr. a few weeks ago. I have a sore that I brought to her attention. She had no idea what it was. It has been there since my cervix was frozen, which she thought was very unusual. I was put on antibiotics, which I finished a few days ago, but the sore is still there. I am very nervous. I would love to have my girl parts taken out so I don't have to worry about abnormal paps or other uncomfortable issues like the sore. It makes me angry and scared to think that I may not be able to have my own Alex. At the same time it is sort of a relief. I have never been like other girls and wanting kids and a husband. I still don't want the kids, but I want the husband. Stephen & I have set a date. It's 3 years away and his mom and aunts are not too impressed. But oh well its my life & I do what I want! Our families are the same but different. Like his mother pushing marriage, and my dad telling Stephen to never get married. I think its funny. I love him so much! It just grows everyday too. I feel like I can't get enough of him. I miss him while I'm at work or anytime I'm away from him. I'm not waiting for it to get better, I'm waiting to see what tomorrow with him is ganna bring. He is definately the man for me. We get alone with ease and don't fight hardly at all. Only over his smoking. We like to go to stores and just roam around and dream. It is so much fun! I really love it! I am excited for Boise too. I just wish I could get a job there and know for sure that we got the appartment. I'm anxious. Oh well everything comes out in the end! Well that's all I have!
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