Can't sleep

For the past 4 nights I have not gone to bed before 4am!! So that makes it so I can't sleep tonight! I feel really lonely. Just can't shake the feeling for some reason. I have great friends & I constantly text & talk to them, but at the end of the day I'm still home alone. It's so weird because when I lived alone I never remember being this lonely & I didn't have friends like I have right now. I do like days like today when I wake up, burn some chocolate chip pancakes, do laundry, & homework. Just me doing house stuff. I would just like someone to be here right now when I can't sleep to keep me company. I want to txt someone or reach out, but its 1am! 2am to my BL peeps, so I don't want to bother anyone with my sad tales. I guess I'll just blog about them. There's this boy that makes me crazy when he's around. When I'm around him I get shaky, excited. It's hard to function! When he smiles at me I'm sure all I do is blush! It feels so immature, but I love it! I went out to CJ's again last night with my Macy's peeps & he went with us. We danced for a while, but he spent the rest of the night with my friend Ashton. Which is fine, but still hurts. To know that the guy that drives you crazy likes someone else sucks! Luckily this is not a new feeling for me. I love Ashton, she is so much fun! She always keeps me laughing! I left CJ's at close & took Chad & Ayla home when I got home he txtd me saying he wanted to dance. How are you supposed to respond to that? Um sorry I was there all night! Like seriously! I'm so confused! I know boys & I know what a brush off is. I also know that to smooth it over they say things like that so next time they see you it will "be ok". It's hard for me to tell if its genuine or if he is playing the game. I really would like to think it's genuine, but my experience tells me its not. I also know that because I like him so much I'm going to try & justify what's happening. Try to make myself feel better & make him out to be a good guy when he could be a douche. Oh the confusion!!

I just hit 30,000 miles on my car! She is not my baby anymore! She is like a toddler now! I'm scared now that the warranty is up that something will go wrong! Let us pray that nothing does! I have an exam on Tuesday & I'm in no way ready! I was ganna study today, but I just wanted to relax! I need to get on the study bus. I can't afford to fail any classes! Well I'm feeling kinda sleepy so I'm ganna try to sleep!