I applied for a cost analyst job at Monsanto on Friday! I'm excited, but doubtful! I didn't think I wanted to move back, but I do & my family does too! With the economy though the chances of me getting a job worth going back for is low. It's what I want though & its ganna take a lot of work to make it happen. My goal is to throw out more applications this week & month, but time is the problem. I thought I had a lot to talk about, but everything is gone now.
Oh Blake asked me to go visit him for like a week after graduation. A vacation would be nice, but I don't know what's going on with me let alone what's going on with us. Plus I don't have the time to figure it out. School & my health is taking up all of my time! I have the follow up dr appointment on Monday. I'm getting nervous. So far this has just been negatives (well positives for the tests) so I'm not sure what I should expect. I have been optimistic for this, but it turns up bad. Should I think that it is cancerous & have it come back positive? Should I be ready for that? If it does come out to be cancerous then it would be time to tell my Dad which is not something I am looking forward to. I'm already trying to decide how I should tell him Alex needs to get the vaccine for HPV. OH the things life throws at you!
Time to rant. So people like to tell me how to make decisions! I fucking hate it. I am the kind of person who tests the water many many times before I slowly get in. I don't make quick decisions. Moving back to BL will for sure cut down my growth possibilities I understand that. I know the risk I am taking on with this decision. My grandparents, I love them to death, but they always try to talk me out of things. I remember being 18 or even now & having them worry about me driving to SLC & stuff. I am like HELLO I drive 12 hours to get to you I think I can handle driving around Logan. Seriously. I love getting advice & to be given a new perspective, but I know what I'm doing. Grrr I understand that older peeps have experiences I can live by, but I want to do things on my own. I want to learn & grow. The pressure to do the right thing is killing me. Ugh
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