Classes started today. I think my Stat 401 class is ganna suck because the teacher talks slow. He talked about what is going to happen in the class for the full 50 minutes. It seemed like a hours! Hopefully he will be better about lecturing on stats. My BUS 490 class is going to be interesting. The teacher has a lot of energy so I will be paying attention, I hope. We have to work in groups though & I'm not so sure what is going on. Hopefully only working 10 hours a week will help me keep up. I went & talked to my supervisor so after tomorrow I will be employed!!! Yay! I'm excited to have things to do instead of sitting around. My yoga class should be fairly nice. I was nervous, but the teacher is really nice & the class is big so I wont feel like I'm being watched. Pilates is really making me nervous. The class is a begining one but the teacher sent out an email that said experiance is recommended but not required. I have a video that I do here & there so I hope that's enough. If not I guess I will be talking 19 credits instead of 20!
So I was talking with Gary last night & I'm so confused. He is waiting for something until he decides if he wants to be with me. I hate this waiting around in hopes that he might pull his head out of his ass & see how much I love him. When we where together he said he should not have to prove his love to me, but now it feels like he wants me to prove that I am right for him. How am I supposed to do that? Is being here through all the drama of his wife & family not enough? Is being here for him while he is drunk & can't take care of himself not enough? He played wow so much that I don't think any other girl would have stayed. Now it feels like none of that mattered. How I am supposed to prove that I'm the right one? Why should I have to do that? Why am I still here? That is what I keep asking myself. He is not asking me to stay nor is he asking me to leave. I feel stuck here. I don't want to move again & I don't want to lose him, but his waiting around is getting to me. Life sucks! I'm just glad I have people to turn to who have been here before. Well I better get to bed, I have a huge day tomorrow!
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