It's over for me & Gary. I hate saying it, I hate thinking it, but its over. My world, my future was so brite & clear until last month. Now its a dark & scary place. I am moving on, I don't feel the urge to tell Gary I love him any more. I still do love him & I probably always will. We are still friends & buddies, but its hard. I still cry, like I am now, but there is a little hope for a bright future. I talked to Ed & he makes me feel better. He has been where I am & he said I will stop cry, but I wont get over loving Gary. Yesterday was a perdy good day. I felt ok. Today I woke up walked away & felt good. Andy came over & it was weird. Gary says I keep trying to sell him a washer (inside thing). I just can't understand how love can be gone. How he can't try. How a person can lose hope in someone they once thought of as a soul mate? How does that happen? Why didn't I try sooner? How could I put myself & Gary through this? It's hard.
On a kind of happier note, Gary & Andy took the couches away & I get a new washer on Thurdays. I have so much laundry! It's crazy. That's the happy I have right now.
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