Just wanting to get away for a bit

I'm just taking a break from studying & thought I would let out some feelings. Gary keeps saying things that hurt me. I don't know if he does it on purpose or if I'm just super sensitive. (I'm guessing the latter is it) So the other night he told me that we are in love, but we are not compatable. That makes me mad. He thinks that we should get alone about everything & never get on each others nerves. Relationships are supposed to be easy. Yeah right! I don't know what world he is living in. I keep getting told that I am crazy for waiting for him to come around & that I deserve better than him, but I don't believe it. I love him & I know we can work if he would just get off the horse that he is running away on & realize that I am here. Maybe I just don't see our fighting as fighting. I don't like that he plays wow all day everyday, but I'm getting used to it. I'm realizing that that is who he is. He finds it annoying that I'm a clean freak. Ok I get that, so I have not been asking him to do things, I just do them myself. Except for the dishes, which have been filling the sink. I don't mind doing the cleaning, I actually feel proud & happy when I do it, kinda like he is happy & proud of his wow people being really good. I wish he could see that. I wish he could see a lot of things. Maybe I should explore what I think a bad relaionship is. To me my parents have a bad relationship. They fight & argue all the time. They are only together for the kids, if you will. I also think a bad relationship is when you depend on the other person for just about everything. I see this in Gary's marriage. From what I understand. Nicole was just using Gary for money & stability. That is in no way a good relationship. Little or bad communication is also bad. I think Gary & I have our days of bad communication, which I think is normal. Sometimes there are bad days. Compromise is also key to a good relationship. Right now we do not have that. One example is that we always have to sleep on the futon in couch form. I deal with it because thats the only way I get to sleep with Gary. But here & there I want to be able to sleep without waking up 4-5 times just to move or because I'm dieing of heat! Sometime, or all the time it seems like now, we have to do things his way. It doesn't matter if what I want is different. He has just totally given up. That's what hurts me the most. Everytime he says that he loves me but it wont work, cuts me deeper, breaks my heart even more. How come he can not realize that I am the best? That I will be here, that I will not treat him like the girls of his past. I'm starting to hate him for being so ignorant. I can see the potiental in him, why can't he see what I am & my potiental? It makes me upset. He is great & he is the one I want to be with, but I sometimes find myself wanting to be rid of him. Wanting to be away. He told me I'm scared to be alone. I'm not. I'm scared to be without the man I love. I could have another man in my life by tomorrow, but I don't want another. It hurts every time I have to call him my room mate. It hurts to know that that is all he is to me or rather that is all I am to him. Ok I'm ganna go back to studying cuz I'm sick of thinking about retarded boys.