I hate love

I got this email today & I liked it. I have had a crapy day & its only noon! Last night I had a dream that Gary invited me to go to Paul Bunyon days with. He went there early & I went with Alex & Nancy. When we got there Gary just ignored me & was waiting for someone else. During the dream I was so sad. When the girl got there Nancy asked me if I knew her. I said no. It hurt so bad to have her & Alex there while he was with this Sarah girl. It was kind of funny though because the girl didn't seem like she wanted to be there with him. She kept pulling away while he held her hand. There was also another dream, but this one is the only one I can remember. I wish I could just drop this. This is ruining me! I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want him to go away! I want to forget everything we had together. I want to move forward. I love him & I can't believe this is happening to me! I tired so hard to keep my heart protected. Then Gary came along. I still kept it to myself, but eventually he got in. Now I can't get him out. Even when he hurts me more. Saying things that I know he doesn't mean to be hurtful about. I'm not making myself his bitch when I do things for him, it's me trying to show him I care. Why can't he see that? I want someone who does the things from this email. Gary used to, but that's the past. I hate my life right now. I hate having his hurt me so much. I hate almost crying in public multiple times a day. It's all for nothing! I'm not scared to be alone. I've been alone for the better part of my life. I thought he was the one. The one who would make everything better, not worse! I have never felt like this before. So torn & alone. As much as I want to graduate & get away from here, I want to say & make us better. I deserve so much better. I hate this! I hate to hate me. I hate thinking my life was just getting started to have it torn up & thrown in my face. To be stuck & not know what I should do next. Or better yet knowing what I need to do & not being strong enough to do it. I hate it all.

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouths of babes. What does 'Love' mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissie - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby -> age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
'My mummy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare -> age 6
'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day' Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'